Peter Bristles, Patriotorian


The problem with most modern historians is that they try to pretend like America isn’t perfect. Sure, we have an infestation of socialists, but it’s nothing a nationwide fumigation won’t fix. Under the guise of “tolerance,” these people have introduced ideas such as empathy and compassion into our worldview that simply don’t belong! If you follow Biblical tradition to the letter, you’ll value those who can use their strength to crush the weak.

A lot of liberals try to say there is a distinction between church and state, but if that’s true, then where do we get the Bill of Rights from? Clearly, the Ten Amendments come right after the Ten Commandments!  

Even though the Bible is the only important book to read, ever, I can be your additional source of information–since I am godly, patriotical, and inerrant, as well.  

Peter Bristles does not have any fancy degrees. He got an honorary degree from Liberty University, but that didn’t matter because he’s a self-educated, bootstrappin’ American. That’s all the qualifications he needs, he says.

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