Uri Terrabyte, Conspiracy Historiast

“History is written by the victors.” That’s just what they want you to think! The truth is that history is written by a cabal of the sinister Illuminati–possibly alien or trans-dimensional–but certainly clandestine and evil. When you’re ready to take the red pill and go down the rabbit hole, you’ll find that history unfolded in a far more spooky way. Forget what you know. Forget what you think you know–and for good measure forget what your friends know too.

When learning about history, you should keep an open mind. If you find claims about aliens, secret societies, or bigfoot dubious, you need to open your mind at least twenty percent more. Perhaps with some sort of mind-opening hand drill.  

Uri Terrabyte received his master’s degree in Close Encounters of the 21st Kind from Bob Lazar University, his Cow Mutilation Prevention degree from http://www.aliensarewatchingusconstantly.com, and he minored in Chupacabra-American Studies.  

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